After reading many books about respectful discipline (or gentle parenting, mindful parenting, respectful parenting, peaceful parenting, etc.) there is a good sense of what not to do with children, but what isn't so clear what TO do.
Because mindful parenting responds to the child and is specific to the parent/child relationship and personalities, it can be hard to get a sense of what it actually looks like. This was a struggle for me when I first started. I felt like all of my parenting tools were taken away from me and I didn't know what to do instead of threats and punishments.
A big criticism of this form of parenting is that children 'get away with' too much. This is not the point of this style of parenting, to be sure! It is easy to see how this can happen without models of how it might look. We can fall into traps of feeling like our job is to keep our child happy making it easy to skip the step where we actually do hold our child accountable to our boundaries.
In hopes of helping someone else on their journey, this podcast walks you through some of the different ways the problem of getting your child to clean their room could be approached. The goal is to be respectful to your child and hold space for their discomfort while maintaining a very clear and unchanging boundary at the same time.